im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
