i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
