Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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