so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
