For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You can't special order awesome
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
