he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
