Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
