They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
