Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
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He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
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Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize