So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Fuck appropriateness.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
