remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
