woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
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Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
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I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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