I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I have already put on my inside pants.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
