Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
