I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
