im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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