He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
