God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
