I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
