Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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