she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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