Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
