I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
