the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize