do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
