nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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