a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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