She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Someone shit on the floor
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
