how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
