I just made out with a guy for $7.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
