I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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