yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She bit a glass in half.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
