she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize