I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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