So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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