the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
