He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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