Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
