tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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