I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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