if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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