Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
