It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
