i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
