I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
