I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
