so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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