we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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