What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize