whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
