We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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