Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
