Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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