Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
