I think I am morally bankrupt
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You're like the curious george of whores
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
