I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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