I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
