Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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