She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?