Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.