i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening